Dr. GYANENDRA JHA
Contact : +91-7354492969
Address : Behind Sunil Hosiery, Krishna Hotel Road,
Bhawartal Garden, Napier Town, Jabalpur (M.P.) - 482001
Now a days anger management has become a big business. So many seminars, lectures, panel discussions and conferences are being organised on this particular topic. It appears that the whole society is under great fear of anger. It appears that the world has become the enemy of anger and want to destroy this highly misinterpreted, blamed and innate natural emotion of anger.
I am saying this because I am seeing the great prejudice of mankind for anger. I am agree that uncontrolled anger has given mankind thousands of wars. I know that man is killing man under spell of anger. But remember every coin has two sides, so is the anger. Mankind has mostly used the anger as a destructive force, though the anger has got high constructive power, anger is just the energy, now it is up to you in which direction you want to channelize this big energy. But enmity towards anger has distorted your vision, you are not able to understand it or recognize it. That is why you fear it, your ignorance has become your fear.
Even the word anger management is a neutral word, you have to learn the tips and techniques to manage it or control it and use the energy of anger in construction in place of destruction. But for that you have to understand the whole process and reasons of its generation and the sign and symptoms of its presence.
HOW ANGER GENERATES WITHIN YOU?
When your desires remain unmet you become either frustrated or hopeless. Now this frustration / hopelessness mostly develops in to anger, anger towards others or anger towards himself. If you do not properly channelize the anger, it transform in to grudge. And if you keep on suppressing the anger you starts to accumulate it and help it to transform in to evil with destructive property only.
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES TO MANAGE ANGER :
- 1. Identify the very rise of anger: To manage the anger, first you should be able to sense the presence or rising symptoms of anger. You may start to feel tense feeling in your muscles, sweating, irritability, subtle trembling in your body. When you will know the start of anger you will be able to prepare yourself to stop it. This step is the rate limiting step and the most crucial one where you have to have very cautious, attentive because missing to identify this process will make you unable to stop the outburst of anger.
- 2. Take time in respond back: You should take time to analyse the facts first, do not respond reflexively because in process of reflex your cortical brain do not involve. So take time, just take time. Taking time will activate your superego, your conscience, you will become more human and will be able to see the absurdity of reacting back through use of anger in animal manner. George Gurdjieff, a great master and philosopher, when he was about 12 yr old was told by his father that my son I have no treasure to give you but I would like to inherit my only one opinion or understanding about life that my son if anyone turns you angry, do not react immediately, took about 24 hrs to respond back. Then you will see that anger will disappear and harmony and peace will appear in your life. It worked for him and for many more.
- 3. Do not totally suppress your anger: Suppression or repression of anger is not the remedy, it will just stop the immediate effect of anger but you will start growing it deep within you. Anger will develop further, will become big and enormous and will fall back with great intensity. It is better to release the poison of anger in controlled way than to store it and revert back it in more hazardous ways.
- 4. Identify your anger stimulus: You should be able to identify the triggering stimulus of your anger then only you will be able to analyse it and control it. It is better to anticipate the outburst earlier than only you can go for the preventive measures. You have reacted back so many times now it is the time to be silent and see why you become so angry on certain circumstances or situations. You can anytime withdraw yourself from such circumstances but it will be escaping only but when you will be able to palpate the reason you would be able to mold it accordingly too.
- 5. Learn to concentrate on your breathing: Have you ever completed any act of anger without any increase in your breathing rate? This appears little inappropriate that how come breathing is going to help in managing the anger but this technique is being used by many-many people and has proved its efficacy. It has been taught to shift your concentration in your inhalation and exhalation, you meditate on your breathing, so you become competent to shift your whole consciousness in to your breathing and that is how you do not react reflexively. Remember your body too help in rise of anger if you have no command over your own body. Your breathing rate invariably increases in act of expression of anger. Anger increases your breathing rate and your breathing helps anger in developing further. So to control anger one should learn to control the breathing rate.
- 6. Use Psychodrama: Though the concept of psychodrama appears funny and ridiculous to many people, but at the other hand it has been reported by so many people as a highly effective technique to manage their anger and for the development of peace and harmony within them. In psychodrama you learn to ventilate your anger, through expression of anger to an inanimate object in place of animate one and hence keep yourself and the other person safe from the hazardous effect of anger. Like you assume that your pillow is the person to whom you have developed anger, you strongly believes it and starts acting out. Yes it clears your mind from the poison of anger and satisfies you temporarily.
- 7. Always make practical plans: Planning for future is not bad but one should always believe on present. One should analyse his present status and his capabilities on the ground of today. Tomorrow may or may not come for you but you have got your this day. If you will make hypothetical and beyond capacity plans for future, you are the one who is welcoming frustration, anger and misery.
- 8. Positive attitude and approach towards life: You need not to have million of rupees to be happy. Happiness is not you can purchase by money. Money arranges a comfortable life for you but soon you start to feel insufficient and empty, your comfort becomes your boredom.You earn happiness by developing a positive attitude and approach towards life. You should be a celebrator to really feel the happiness. You should understand the law of existence that nothing is permanent then you can always hope for a great future ahead even in your deep anguish.
All the great and good revolution of mankind is also due to initial anger of one person but that one person has sublimed his anger in a constructive way and this sublimation or appropriate use of anger has changed this world. Many dead cultures and traditions have been condemned and destroyed by use of anger in appropriate way by some great and liberal person only (Abraham Lincoln, Karl Marx and many more have proved that the anger can be used in constructive and miraculous way too).